When I think about critics I think about the infamous Statler and Waldorf muppet characters. They crack me up. (Statler and Waldorf wikipedia)
However living with a pair like that would be horrid. It’s one thing to enjoy them in a muppet show, quite another to imagine them following me around judging and criticizing me all the time.
I grew up with sarcasm. It can really bite. It is meant to be funny but at someone’s expense. Statler and Waldorf have that mastered - they can always find something mean to say about someone.
As we prepare for our first wellness event at The Cedars Ranch, "Fierce Self-Compassion: Unplug Your Inner Critic" with keynote speaker Dr. Kristin Neff (as announced in the previous blog post), I am reminded over and over how much our self-talk matters to our wellness. Unplugging our inner critic. So critical!
Imagine trying to perform on a stage with Statler and Waldorf yelling insults at you! That would be tough.
How often though do we channel our own version of Waldorf? or Statler?
What are some of the meanest things your inner critic says to you? Here’s my challenge to you. Catch yourself - capture some of your self-talk (self thinking) and write it down. This may be a bit shocking!
Before we can unplug that critic we need to find the cord! Embracing self-compassion also means letting go of harsh, nasty self-judging.
What gives you the right to talk so meanly to yourself? What makes that ok?
Who else would it be okay to talk to like that? For some of you, how you talk to yourself you would call abusive if you heard someone else being talked to like that!
If you brought this kind of abusive talk to someone’s attention and they were truly sorry, hadn’t realized what kind of damage and impact they were having, what would you expect next?
A sincere apology right? Remorseful self-reflection and a sincere desire to apologize and then to never ever treat that person like that again!
If capturing your self-talk shows you something mean, how about an apology to yourself? How much flourishing could you be doing if you were not living with being judged and talked down to so often?
So, as we prepare for a new year soon, what about a year filled with more self-compassion and less criticism and judging of ourselves?
Here is an interesting read on self-judgment: "5 Reasons to Start Releasing Self-Judgement"
Unplugging your inner critic takes a bit of work. The relief and transformation that comes from replacing criticism with compassion is tremendous! It’s the difference between going home to find a fight going on versus going home to find that someone who loves you has bought you flowers, made you dinner and has their arms wide open to embrace you.
So here’s to shutting down the critic - unless you are watching an old muppet show!
We'd love you to join us for our self-compassion event of the year, "Fierce Self-Compassion: Unplug Your Inner Critic", Saturday April 27th, 2019 at The Cedars Ranch in the Texas Hill Country. Our special one-day event will feature keynote speaker Dr. Kristin Neff, pioneering researcher in self-compassion at the University of Texas. This event is prequalified for CCEUs with the ICF.
Be sure to sign-up to receive access to registration when it becomes available since space will be limited!!
Sign Up Here
Until next time,
Marilyn Orr, MA, CEC, PCC is an Executive and Leadership Coach with Capacity Building Coaching, holding her Professional Certified Coach designation with the International Coach Federation. Marilyn provides professional coaching for executive and business leaders, mentor coaching for coaches, and leadership development support in the form of coaching skills training and soft-skills development. Reach Out to Marilyn for more information.
Marilyn is author of everyday resiliency workbook “How Absorbent Are Your Shocks?”, available on Amazon. Subscribe to “Marilyn’s Musings” twice monthly blogposts for more leadership and professional development content.
Learn more about our upcoming "Fierce Self-Compassion: Unplug Your Inner Critic" event and sign up today to receive access to updates on this self-compassion event of the year!
Posted on Thu, December 6, 2018
by Marilyn Orr filed under