Leveraging the Benefits of Fresh Starts

Leveraging the Benefits of Fresh Starts

Growing up in an Air Force family I got to move more than many of you reading this. It wasn’t until I was well into adulthood though that I noticed the phenomenon that I want to share about today.

When you move somewhere new and no one knows you, a couple opportunities present themselves.

You get a fresh start. A chance to choose how you want to show up - to redefine yourself and how people will experience you. You choose what you will commit to and where you want to lay low. This, of course, is only if you make yourself conscious of this and take advantage of the opportunity.

You also instantly lose your ‘notoriety’ - not in the public sense of that but in the sense that there were numerous people who knew your strengths, your accomplishments, your sense of humor, what they could turn to you for, people who enjoyed being with you.

This second point is an opportunity too but it can be a harder one to embrace.

A few years ago when I moved from New Brunswick, Canada to Massachusetts to Bill’s world I left what had been home for decades to a place where no one knew me. I began to know my in-laws truly after moving.

During those months it was interesting to be out somewhere with Bill and have people react to his name. ‘Oh, are you an Orr from the dealership?’. Bill’s family name meant something where we were living. It was fascinating to be known only for that inherited characteristic.

Now, in Texas, people don’t know the name Orr. (I hardly ever even hear ‘Are you related to Bobby Orr?’). People don’t know Bill and I where we live now.

There are benefits from new starts and I think some of these benefits we can get without moving to a new country, city or town.

We can get attached to our ego and the kudos we get from it without even knowing how attached and dependent we are on that. Fresh starts let us lay that down and just be known and loved for our core self. People in Wimberley that I hang out with now have never heard me speak, likely don’t read my blog, have never been coached by me or counseled by me and yet seem to enjoy my company. Cool.

When we receive attention and feedback based on accomplishments and performance sometimes we don’t get to enjoy the more basic sensation of purely being enjoyed without performing. New relationships are an opportunity to NOT present what we’ve done, ‘who we are’ through performance, degrees, who we know, etc. This may be scary but it is also so rewarding.

I can only imagine that it is like when a celebrity finds a little getaway place where nobody knows who they are. We all have that but on a different scale. There’s a weird mix of ‘don’t you know who I am’ and ‘I’m so glad you don’t know who I am’. Freedom and identity loss.

So, without moving how do we get this?

It can be simply moving in to a new club, meet-up, company, etc. We can make these transitions with intentional strategy to not hide behind or ‘benefit’ from telling all the new people in our life about our accomplishments. The benefits will be a chance to strip back how you’ve been used to showing up and rediscovering yourself.

How do you want to be known?

What is it people love you for?

What were you doing just to keep getting your ego stroked (that wasn’t life giving)?

Well, I’m going to practice what I preach and enjoy this new phase in my life of living in the country, outside of a small town where very few people know my name.

Here’s to all your fresh starts!

Until next time,

Marilyn

9 comments (Add your own)

1. wrote:
Hello, i feel that i saw you visited my site so i came to go back the desire?.I'm trying to in finding things to enhance my site!I guess its adequate to use some
of your concepts!!

Thu, May 9, 2019 @ 11:32 AM

2. wrote:
If you are going for best contents like I do, simply pay a quick visit this website everyday as it
presents feature contents, thanks

Sat, May 11, 2019 @ 8:36 AM

3. wrote:
What i do not understood is in reality how you're now not really much more smartly-appreciated
than you may be now. You're so intelligent. You already know thus considerably relating to this subject, produced me in my
view consider it from so many varied angles.
Its like men and women are not interested unless it's one thing to
accomplish with Girl gaga! Your own stuffs nice. All the
time deal with it up!

Thu, May 30, 2019 @ 4:16 PM

4. wrote:
Thank you for another wonderful post. Where else may anybody get that kind of info in such a perfect method of
writing? I've a presentation subsequent week, and
I'm at the search for such information.

Sat, June 1, 2019 @ 1:57 AM

5. wrote:
Just wish to say your article is as surprising.
The clearness in your post is just excellent and i can assume you are an expert on this
subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with
forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue
the gratifying work.

Sat, June 8, 2019 @ 1:33 AM

6. wrote:
Just want to say your article is as surprising. The clearness in your post is simply spectacular and i could assume
you're an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your
RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the enjoyable
work.

Wed, June 12, 2019 @ 4:02 AM

7. wrote:
Excellent items from you, man. I've take into accout your stuff previous to and
you are just extremely magnificent. I actually like what you've got right here, really like what you are saying and the way wherein you assert it.
You make it enjoyable and you continue to care for to stay it sensible.
I can not wait to read much more from you. That is
actually a terrific website.

Fri, June 14, 2019 @ 10:02 AM

8. wrote:
It's an awesome post in support of all the internet users; they will get advantage from it I am sure.

Mon, July 15, 2019 @ 6:24 AM

9. wrote:
Good article. I am dealing with some of these issues as well..

Tue, July 16, 2019 @ 2:49 AM

Add a New Comment


code
 

Comment Guidelines: No HTML is allowed. Off-topic or inappropriate comments will be edited or deleted. Thanks.