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Blasting Through Barriers to Change
Marilyn Orr
We live in a world where looking at the positive is more “in” than ever. I’m a believer. Gratefulness, seeing the glass half full, ‘reframing’; these are all good things.
There is a trap though that we can fall in to. We can too quickly minimize the real challenges and barriers and therefore not have the right strategy to overcome them. Or we can lack adequate emotional processing of them to not unwittingly cart them around with us far too long.
Our logical brain knows that there is absolutely no impact on the facts by prolonging seeing the Dr. about a suspicious lump. It simply delays treatment when it is a real problem and delays the sense of relief if it’s nothing. People still do this though. We do it with the changes we want to see in our lives too.
There is something very enticing about ignoring and minimizing things that feel overwhelming. Sometimes it is even wise if we don’t have the resources and capacity in that moment to deal with something. The trick is to not delay any longer than necessary.
So, while remaining open to seeing the positive and while practicing gratitude, let’s also stare our very real barriers in the face so they don’t get to have undue influence on our futures!
- Fear
- Lack of knowledge
- Insufficient support
- Faulty thinking - “I can’t”, “I don’t deserve to”, “I’ve tried before and it won’t work”, etc.
- Associated pain and disappointment
- Lack of resources - financial, time, energy, etc.
- Low drive to see something through
Obviously the list can be endless.
Think of something you would like to be different in your life - at home, at work, as a parent, wherever, and try out some of these questions.
- What are the top 3 things that get in the way of the change I want to see?
- What would need to be different in me in order to get to my goal?
- Who do I see living the way I’d like to be living - and - what questions would I like to ask them?
- What strengths do you have that would be relevant to overcoming this barrier?
- How has this barrier been impacting you? What costs have you been paying?
- If I let go of the big picture for a moment, what is one small step I could take now?
- Is there something comfortable or comforting about not pursuing this change?
- What is the worst thing that could happen if I moved towards this change? Can I live with that?
- How can I acknowledge my fears and pain connected to this so that they can’t control me any longer?
- What resources would support me in creating successful strategies to move past the barriers?
Well, that felt good, you know I love asking questions! (Rest assured, I have people asking me tough questions too, lol.)
Happy pondering!
As a result of some of my growth strategies you will see a change coming now in my blog posts. In addition to coaching and supporting individual growth and development I’m wanting to support the growth and development of couples. Luv Life Coaching is my company for this work and starting next week I’ll be alternating weeks between Capacity Building Coaching blog posts and Luv Life Coaching posts.
Obviously, I’d love you to join me in both of these adventures but the choice will be yours! If you wish to subscribe to my new Luv Life Coaching blog, you can click HERE .
Note that if you subscribe, you will still be receiving one blog post from me a week, just now split between both companies!
Until next week,
Marilyn
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