Nothing To Fear Day is celebrated on May 27 and Face Your Fears Day is celebrated on 13th Oct every year.

Here is a great quote on our topic:

“Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” ~ Yoda

Quote source: https://www.thefreshquotes.com/fear-quotes/

There is so much written and so many ‘inspirational quotes’ about facing your fears, doing it anyway, etc.

Some of that is wonderful but I think some of this thinking also just leaves us still afraid and also feeling weak because we couldn’t just face it and do it anyway.

So, what are the options?

I actually like Yoda’s wisdom best. The part of fear that we need to pay most attention to is where it quietly and insidiously grows our anger (as a self-protection strategy, often) and our hatred and causes others to fear and be angry and hate.

Quote source: https://www.thefreshquotes.com/fear-quotes/

So then, what is a healthy way to deal with fear.

What Yoda puts his green long finger on is what happens to our fear when we don’t acknowledge it as fear but blame others, make excuses and pretend we aren’t afraid or try to minimize our fear of feeling powerless by becoming bullies.

What if we acknowledge the fear and the very unpleasant sensation of powerlessness as step number one?

Discharging the power of what we are feeling drags it out in to the open. Fear thrives on secrecy and shame. It feeds in the shadows.

For some reason telling the dentist how much fear I feel and why, specifically somehow reduces my fear. I no longer feel like I need to carry my fear alone. I can let go of some of it because someone else can carry it with me and help me create strategies that help me overcome a fear barrier that could easily keep me from doing something good for me.

So sharing your fear with someone that cares or can actually help you strategize around it can really be effective.

Proving something to yourself is all well and good but the other principle on facing your fears, realistically, is to break growth in that area down in to bite-size pieces.

If it’s a fear of speaking in public you can start by speaking up in a small safe group if need be. Say more in a meeting than you would normally say. Introduce yourself more than normal at a networking meeting.

Quote source: https://www.thefreshquotes.com/fear-quotes/

What are 3 things you “fear” or carefully avoid?

Would you be willing to write down one small step you could take for each?

Are you willing to tell a friend or manager what is intimidating you and ask for their support?

So often I have coached people on something they really feared and once they worked on a strategy to conquer that fear it actually became a strength that really supported their career and their happiness.

Would you be willing to take one of your fears and write 3 paragraphs about how your life would be different if you had strength in that area instead?

I’d sure love to hear your stories! Email me if you like, I love hearing from you!

Until next time,

Marilyn

Marilyn Orr, MA, CEC, PCC is an Executive and Leadership Coach with Capacity Building Coaching , holding her Professional Certified Coach designation with the International Coach Federation.

Marilyn provides professional coaching for executive and business leaders, mentor coaching for coaches, and leadership development support in the form of coaching skills training and soft-skills development.

Marilyn is author of everyday resiliency workbook “How Absorbent Are Your Shocks?”, available on Amazon . Subscribe to “ Marilyn’s Musings ” twice monthly blogposts for more leadership and professional development content.