On Monday I made a commitment to my personal trainer, who was coaching me, to journal about my upside-down thinking. Why not up the “vulnerability factor” and share that with you? I know that if I wrestle with something, there are other people out there wrestling too.
So, when I take the self-compassion test by Dr. Neff I do quite well. ( http://self-compassion.org/test-how-self-compassionate-you-are/). However, there are some areas where my thinking is not correct.
Many are around my relationship with food.
I feel entitled to celebrating with food that is not good for me. So, my faulty thinking is that I am doing something nice for myself - either to celebrate (which I find many excuses for) or to comfort myself if I’ve been stressed.
The reason that this is upside down is that I usually choose something that is not good for me as a way to “do something nice for myself”. I’m actually doing something NOT NICE for myself. I would love to correct my thinking here. Here’s what I know from my therapy days and from coaching:
My thinking leads to how I feel. My feeling leads to what behaviors I choose. My behaviors lead to specific results. click to tweet
Here are some questions I want to ask myself. Steal whatever ones help you!
Marilyn, what celebration tools could you substitute that are actually kind to you?
What are some other things that really help you when you’ve had a tough day?
You have used some resources before that have supported you in making better choices for you. Which ones do you want to bring back out?
Where do you think you learned your faulty thinking?
If you exaggerate your unhealthy thinking to make a point to yourself, what would your “rewards” be?
When you have been giving your body what it needs consistently, how do you feel?
What gives you the most energy?
Who can support you in making this shift? What question would you like them to ask you?
So, perhaps you struggle in a different area. Maybe it’s around exercise. Perhaps it’s around healthy boundaries or being assertive.
What questions do you want to ask yourself? What questions do you want a friend or coach to ask you?
You may not be the boss where you work but you are totally in charge of you! I like to say “I’m the boss of me”. That implies freedom and responsibility. I’m accountable to me and I want to take that seriously.
Until next week!
Marilyn Orr is a Professional Certified Coach, who, through her coaching business “Capacity Building Coaching”, thrives on building both personal and organization capacity through leadership coaching and development.
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