I am an “Air Force Brat”. By the time I was 5 I had lived in a few countries. My family moved less than many military families, thankfully, but I still learned to pack up and move on.

Some of that was bad and I had to unlearn. I realized many years ago I learned to just turn off the pain of leaving friends behind. I don’t embrace that anymore.

One of the good things I learned was how to make friends in “the new place”. Between that and my high extroversion trait you’d think that making friends would just magically happen for me. Well, it does and it doesn’t.

Meeting people and striking up a conversation comes very easily (Bill might say, perhaps too easily, lol).

Having hundreds of high-level friends comes easily for me. As an extrovert I put people in the friend category that some of you would definitely put in the acquaintance category. (I love that cheesy saying that “A stranger is just a friend I haven’t met yet”.)

Real friendship though takes intention, time, trust, openness, vulnerability.

I definitely have deep friendships with people I hardly ever get to see. The friends that would be there if I needed them. That I could go super deep with immediately even if we haven’t talked in 6 months. Those friendships though are ones we have both sewn into. Sewn in time, deep talks, lots of laughter, perhaps shared giving to others together.

Here’s what I notice. Life gets busy for all of us and often what suffers is taking time to give yourself the gift of really solid time with your friends. You need it. There are few things that fill our tank like time with healthy friends that we can really be ourselves with. Time with people that we can laugh and cry with. Friends that see our warts and extra pounds and bs and love us the way we are.

Who do you need to have some time with?

Be picky about your friends! Does the relationship feel mutual? Is one of you the rescuer of the other? Do you feel a pull to fix or be needy? Healthy friendships are not about fixing. Support is different from fixing.

Which of your friends do you laugh the most with? Do you need to do some more laughing with them soon?

Now, let’s talk about BFF and real life. Friends come and go. That’s okay. Different friends meet different needs in our life. Some will be super long-term and others will be for a season. Hold them lightly and gratefully. I like the languages “One of my dear friends” over best friend. “Best friend” excludes others and gives the impression that one friend can be just about everything for you.

I have friends that challenge me to be more philanthropic. Friends that crack me up. Friends that know how to get me to open up more. Friends that check in on my spirituality. I need them all. Friends that love business and share that world with me.

Here is to my friends! Many of whom may even be reading this. I love you, you are what make my life so incredibly rich!

And, here is to you getting some really awesome time with some of your dear friends soon or, to taking steps with acquaintances in your life that will turn them in to dear friends!

What is your next intentional friend step?

Until next week,


13 comments (Add your own)

1. wrote:
You need to be a part of a contest for one of the most useful websites on the internet.
I am going to highly recommend this blog!

Thu, May 2, 2019 @ 3:14 AM

2. wrote:
Hmm is anyone else having problems with the images on this
blog loading? I'm trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Fri, May 3, 2019 @ 7:30 AM

3. wrote:
Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Many thanks,
However I am going through issues with your RSS. I don't know the reason why I cannot
join it. Is there anyone else having identical RSS problems?
Anyone that knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanks!!

Fri, May 10, 2019 @ 5:30 AM

4. wrote:
Hi there! I could have sworn I've visited this website before but after going through many of the articles I realized it's new to me.
Regardless, I'm definitely delighted I discovered it and I'll be bookmarking
it and checking back often!

Sat, May 11, 2019 @ 2:47 AM

5. wrote:
I'm really impressed with your writing skills as well as with
the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself?

Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like
this one today.

Sun, May 12, 2019 @ 12:27 PM

6. wrote:
Howdy, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i
was just wondering if you get a lot of spam comments?
If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything
you can recommend? I get so much lately it's driving me insane so any
help is very much appreciated.

Tue, June 4, 2019 @ 3:32 PM

7. wrote:
This is a topic that is near to my heart... Take care! Where are your
contact details though?

Tue, July 23, 2019 @ 11:16 PM

8. wrote:
Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?

you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site
is magnificent, let alone the content!

Mon, November 4, 2019 @ 4:30 AM

9. wrote:
I'm excited to discover this page. I want to to thank you for ones time just for this wonderful read!!
I definitely liked every part of it and i also have you book-marked to look
at new things on your website.

Tue, November 12, 2019 @ 7:40 PM

10. wrote:
I know this if off topic but I'm looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is required to get setup?
I'm assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
I'm not very web smart so I'm not 100% positive. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thu, November 21, 2019 @ 11:29 PM

11. wrote:
Heya i'm for the first time here. I found this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me
out a lot. I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.

Thu, November 28, 2019 @ 7:16 PM

12. wrote:
Hi, i believe that i noticed you visited my blog thus i got here to go back the want?.I'm trying to find things to improve
my site!I assume its good enough to use a few of your ideas!!

Thu, December 5, 2019 @ 12:40 AM

13. wrote:
We stumbled over here different page and thought I should check things
out. I like what I see so now i'm following you.
Look forward to going over your web page for a second time.

Sat, December 7, 2019 @ 6:04 AM

Add a New Comment


Comment Guidelines: No HTML is allowed. Off-topic or inappropriate comments will be edited or deleted. Thanks.

Events Calendar