Blog

  • Spiritual Ears

    A trend that is allowing us all to be able to have shared language about our experiences is a move towards talking about our spirituality vs. our religion.  What is spirituality?   Read More...

  • Why I Love to Cry

    If you know me you know I cry easily.I worked hard for that. I had to learn to cry. Some of you can relate, some of you may think I’m crazy.There are the obvious reasons for loving a good cry.   Read More...

  • 7 “Cures” for Grumpiness

    We all have those days. We are just plain grumpy.You know the feeling. You can’t put your finger on one thing you are angry about or sad about.   Read More...

  • Planting Seeds

    Today I planted some snow peas. (Don’t hate me Canadian friends.) There is something so life-giving (pun intended) about starting plants from seeds. Since we are building a commercial venue at The Cedars we have had many landscapers out working.   Read More...

  • Controversial Passion

    Regardless of your opinions on the recent US election, it is highly likely that the process has gotten you more passionate than you have been in quite some time! When we have been lulled in to complacency we don’t even know it. That’s what is so dangerous about it. As the old saying goes “How do you boil a frog?   Read More...

  • Dream One Size Too Big

    I love this sign. Found it in a store last week while looking for a large Texas Star to put on one of our buildings. In this process of Bill and I building a retreat and wedding venue we have had countless people say “Good for you for following your dream!” and “Wow, you are actually following through on your dream!” At the same time I experience these comments as encouraging feedback and sad commentary. They are usually said with a bit of mild shock and disappo...  Read More...

  • What Do Values Have to Do With It?

    This is my first time living in the US during an election. What a wild first experience! It has me thinking a lot about values.   Read More...

  • Defensiveness

    I Am NOT Defensive! It is a truly rare thing to find someone who doesn’t easily get defensive. Extremely rare actually. Today I want to ponder some reasons behind why we get defensive so that we can figure out some more effective strategies moving forward. Increasingly I have people tell me that they read my blog after having had time with me to see if I’m writing something about them. I’m thrilled to have readers but I want to say up front - this blog is not abo...  Read More...

  • Black and White

    Not sure what it says about me but I love to have people blindfolded and led around while blindfolded. This, by the way, is usually part of a leadership training activity, not just with total strangers at the grocery store! When I debrief this activity one thing that always comes up is that even with strict instructions to the leaders to stay totally quiet, the people being led automatically are trying to figure out who is leading them. Why? When I push on this, the answer I get i...  Read More...

  • Grateful in Little Rock

    Do you ever wonder if “life”, “God” or “the universe” is trying to teach you a lesson? Today I am spending 9 hours in the Little Rock, Arkansas airport as a result of our second emergency aircraft landing in 2 months. Hmmm.  I have grown less convinced over the years that there is meaning behind everything that happens but this is quite interesting when after decades of flying quite often this has not happened to me before. Regardless of your religious or spiritual orientation I think ...  Read More...

  • Blank Slates

    As I write this I’m looking out my window at a blank slate, in my garden that is. One of the most exciting things about this piece of property when we bought it was the fenced garden. It’s 50’ by 75’ with a fence high enough to keep deer out.   Read More...

  • 5 Methods For More Effective Anger

    This week I have been deeply touched by a number of you sharing deeply personal stories about your own experiences with anger and rage. I have heard from people wrestling with the impact of someone else’s anger expressions but I have also heard from people who know that they might be the one expressing anger in ways that may hurt people they love.Although I’m coming from a place of having to learn to express anger, I have learned a few things over the years that are relevant for thos...  Read More...

  • The Aftermath of Childhood

    Growing up there was one person who got to get angry in my family. Dad. He did not have skills for self-management, communication or stress-reduction so his anger translated to outbursts of rage. My Dad is gone so why is this relevant now? Many of us have grown up with a parent who raged or have been in an adult relationship with someone who rages.   Read More...

  • "Inny" or "Outy"?

    In case you haven’t met me in person, I’m an extrovert. (Insert peels of laughter from my friends and family who are saying “ya think???”).Two things I have had to work on in my life is:Understanding how others experience my extroversion and adjusting andLearning what introverts need and adjusting.There are a couple of simple tests to tell you which camp you land in or if you land in the middle. The first is simply “How exhausted are you after a day, a few hours, wi...  Read More...

  • The Art and Science of Apologizing

    As a Canadian I can claim special expertise here, coming from a nation famous to quickly offer the “I’m sorry” whether it’s appropriate or not. There are so many ways that we use apologies, some great and some that are not so healthy. Let’s just go ahead and get the appropriate and easy ones out of the way. I did something wrong, made a mistake, in some way hurt or damaged someone and I apologize based on a thorough understanding of how I contributed. This...  Read More...

  • 7 Brilliant Ideas - Client Wisdom

    One of the amazing benefits of being a coach to brilliant leaders is adopting the incredible strategies that they already have or that they create in coaching. I have been benefiting from many of these ideas so I thought today I’d share them with you. (The odd one may have been mine.) Consider this a brilliant ideas download, not necessarily in any kind of order. If it reminds you of some of your brilliant ideas, I would love it if you send them to me!When you have something sign...  Read More...

  • Story Time

    As I write this I am just hours away from presenting to a group on the topic of building confidence. Stories are important in training and I’ve been mulling some over to share and thought I’d share some with you.Many years ago I had an encounter with a close friend that I was building a non-profit organization with. It was a super painful conversation that questioned, criticized and judged multiple aspects of who I was and how I lived my life.To say it left me shaken would be a gross...  Read More...

  • Live in the Now!

    Hi, I’m Brenda Ryan, and I have the good luck and privilege of working with Marilyn. Having just returned from a 10-day “vipassana” meditation course, Marilyn invited me to write a guest blogpost sharing my experience. I duly agreed!“Vipassana” means “insight” and is a form of Buddhist meditation practiced for millennia.   Read More...

  • Mini-Series: Part 3 - The Hero

    Ah, "the Hero". When we speak of archetypes, similar indeed to the savior complex. As a point of summary, we have discussed Martyrs and Victims already. The point in looking at archetypes is looking at the unhealthy version of legitimate roles.   Read More...

  • Mini-Series: Part 2 - Martyr

    Let's talk about the archetype Martyr. Let's be clear, this is very distinct from the brave people who have lived so true to their values that it has cost them their lives. We speak here only of people who allow harm or neglect to come to themselves in the service of others. The "martyr" self-sacrifices when not asked to do so by others.   Read More...

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    Increasing Your Self-Awareness

    “He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”― Lao TzuLately I’ve had the pleasure of having conversations with both family members and friends about their Myers-Briggs or StrengthsFinder results. The use of assessments is not the only way to increase one’s self-awareness but it’s a fun one!Partly the assessment gives you time to reflect and agree or disagree with statements in the tool about you.These kinds of tools can be used well and bring ...  Read More...

  • Top Five Leadership Qualities

    There are people that just stand out as different from the crowd. Sometimes for good reasons, sometimes, not so good.What is it that makes people get noticed? What leads people to getting promoted?   Read More...

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