Beauty From Brokenness

Marilyn Orr

During a recent training with other coaches the speaker mentioned this wonderful Japanese philosophy and resulting practice of kintsugi. It is a philosophy that our speaker powerfully embraced in his work. 

I wanted to know more and as I read about kintsugi I fell in love with this way of thinking. Let’s read a little from Wikipedia: 

“As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.[5] … kintsugi can be seen to have similarities to the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, an embracing of the flawed or imperfect.[10][11] Japanese aesthetics values marks of wear by the use of an object. This can be seen as a rationale for keeping an object around even after it has broken and as a justification of kintsugi itself, highlighting the cracks and repairs as simply an event in the life of an object rather than allowing its service to end at the time of its damage or breakage.[12] 

“Kintsugi can relate to the Japanese philosophy of "no mind" (無心 mushin), which encompasses the concepts of non-attachment, acceptance of change and fate as aspects of human life." Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kintsugi    

Kintsugi art curtsy of Morty Bachar www.lakesidepottery.com



We all have cracks. We all walk around with things from our past that we can see as limiting, as justifications for hanging on to shame, fear, and other limiting beliefs. 

In some ways it is easier for us to heal from the things that have been done to us. We walk through a process of healing where we embrace the pain, the anger and eventually find closure through letting go and forgiveness. 

The harder cracks come from ways that we have let people down. The times when we have been the ones doing the harming. Even when the ones we have hurt have extended forgiveness we may hold on to the pain as a way of continuing to provide the punishment that we think we deserve. 


Kintsugi art curtsy of Morty Bachar www.lakesidepottery.com


This piece of pottery is stunning. Imagine it though without the beautiful metal that is holding the broken pieces together. 

The very choice, and it is choice, to not offer ourself forgiveness and closure for the horrible, painful things we have done simply leaves us broken and more likely to hurt again. 

The very thing we hate about ourself perpetuates the very thing we hate about ourself. The secret is in acknowledging that we have hurt others out of brokenness. Not denying the darkness that we are capable of but allowing beauty to come of it. 

What are the things from your past that still haunt you? 

If self-forgiveness does not have to mean forgetting that it ever happened but instead letting that history be re-purposed in your life then what? 

How can the cracks and brokenness that you have held on to be a reminder instead for how you want to show up now?

Until next time,

Marilyn Orr.


Marilyn Orr, MA, CEC, PCC is an Executive and Leadership Coach with Capacity Building Coaching , holding her Professional Certified Coach designation with the International Coach Federation.

Marilyn provides professional coaching for executive and business leaders, mentor coaching for coaches, and leadership development support in the form of coaching skills training and soft-skills development.

Marilyn is author of everyday resiliency workbook “How Absorbent Are Your Shocks?”, available on Amazon . Subscribe to “ Marilyn’s Musings ” twice monthly blogposts for more leadership and professional development content.

By Marilyn Orr 12 Mar, 2020
Really, a Pill for Loneliness?There truly is research going on for this right now. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/jan/26/pill-for-loneliness-psychology-science-medicineIt is not that this isn’t a major problem. It is a huge issue now and trends show it having grown.22% of adults in the USA “always or often” feel lonely.
By Marilyn Orr 30 Jan, 2020
A dear friend of mine said to me once, “you know what I need before I do”.Being sensitive to emotions and subtle language cues is not something I was born doing. In my mid-twenties I was oblivious to my own anger. I mean, really oblivious.
By Marilyn Orr 26 Dec, 2019
Speak to your audience Take a few moments to plan your post Don’t forget to add images Edit carefully before posting You know your audience better than anyone else, so keep them in mind as you write your blog posts. Write about things they care about. If you have a company Facebook page, look here to find topics to write about Once you have a great idea for a post, write the first draft. Some people like to start with the title and then work on the paragraphs. Other people like to start with subtitles and go from there. Choose the method that works for you. Be sure to include a few high-quality images in your blog. Images break up the text and make it more readable. They can also convey emotions or ideas that are hard to put into words. Once you’re happy with the text, put it aside for a day or two, and then re-read it. You’ll probably find a few things you want to add, and a couple more that you want to remove. Have a friend or colleague look it over to make sure there are no mistakes. When your post is error-free, set it up in your blog and publish.
By Marilyn Orr 19 Dec, 2019
Although the potential for a happy holiday is present for many of us there are any number of ways that it can go sideways and be highly stressful.This blog post is for you. The few of you that have an easy holiday ahead, I applaud you and remind you to really appreciate how amazing that is, and likely, how rare.The potential de-railers come in a number of forms: relatives that we find difficult to be around, a lack of control over our own schedule, too much time socializing (if you are more intr...
By Marilyn Orr 21 Nov, 2019
Are you Smarter Than All Your Friends?This is meant to be sassy. Here’s the point. Are you surrounded by people that just appreciate who you are without challenging you or pushing you towards a better you?It is amazing to have people around us that affirm us.
By Marilyn Orr 24 Oct, 2019
In a couple weeks I have the honor of speaking with up to 200 people about advocating for oneself. Finding our voice - not just to speak up for ourself but to create opportunities for advancement, acknowledgement and compensation.This is such an important topic. So many messages get in the way of us promoting ourselves.Self-promotion equals arrogance, is the opposite to humilityI’m not perfect, not the best person for the promotions, etc.I should focus on what I need to work on, focusing on stre...
By Marilyn Orr 12 Mar, 2020
Really, a Pill for Loneliness?There truly is research going on for this right now. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/jan/26/pill-for-loneliness-psychology-science-medicineIt is not that this isn’t a major problem. It is a huge issue now and trends show it having grown.22% of adults in the USA “always or often” feel lonely.
By Marilyn Orr 30 Jan, 2020
A dear friend of mine said to me once, “you know what I need before I do”.Being sensitive to emotions and subtle language cues is not something I was born doing. In my mid-twenties I was oblivious to my own anger. I mean, really oblivious.
Share by: