“Don’t get your hopes up”, “Lower your expectations”, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch”.
As advice goes, I personally think these 3 expressions are usually bad advice. (Honestly, they are sayings that push some invisible button deep inside of me!)
It would seem that the idea behind them is that if you aren’t expecting much you won’t be as disappointed when you don’t get it.
I’m not so sure. Maybe you experience the disappointment unnecessarily in advance when you never had to feel it! How about that?
Perhaps it’s more like you see what you are looking for.
Since Bill and I have been working on creating “The Cedars” celebration and event venue there have been so many amazing “coincidences” (hahaha) that we now expect good things to happen. We just say “there’s another one” when something amazing happens that would appear to just be really good luck.
Perhaps it’s in the vision.
If we are looking for disappointment we can surely find it.
If we are looking for amazing gifts and bonus surprises, we can find them too.
You know those times when you are in a hurry to get somewhere and you hit every red light that you can possibly hit? We notice that. It beats the odds.
How often when the light is green when you get to it do we say, “how nice, that light was green when I got to it”?
Yes, I am a ‘glass half full’ kind of person but for very good reasons. I didn’t get to being a ‘half full’ person by having an easy life. You name a kind of abuse and I can tell you stories from my own life that are relevant.
I’ve made a conscious choice to look for the good in hard situations. Sometimes it takes a while to be able to see it. Sometimes you have to look really hard. It’s usually there though.
This week, in America, we are celebrating Thanksgiving. What if it was daily practice? How would our lives change? How would our families change? How would our world change?
“It is a fact of neurology that the brain cannot be in a state of appreciation and a state of fear at the same time. The two states may alternate, but are mutually exclusive.”
~ Dan Baker in What Happy People Know
If I look around and see so much to be thankful for and have expectations that great things are going to keep happening then I am more likely to notice them when they do.
Scientifically I am not sure if people who live by the law of attraction get more parking spaces close to where they are going. What I do know is that they notice when it happens and are grateful for them. They feel blessed.
What can you be grateful for that you have just been taking for granted?
Who could you thank today for a kindness they have offered?
Until next week,
Marilyn is an Executive and Leadership Coach with Capacity Building Coaching, holding her Professional Certified Coach designation with the International Coach Federation. Marilyn provides professional coaching for executive and business leaders, mentor coaching for coaches, and leadership development support in the form of coaching skills training, soft-skills development, facilitation of key discussions and team coaching.
Marilyn is author of everyday resiliency workbook “How Absorbent Are Your Shocks?”, available on Amazon. Subscribe to “Marilyn’s Musings” twice monthly blogposts for more leadership and professional development content.