Leadership Skills and Your Love Life
For 10 years now I have been coaching business leaders and executives and providing leadership development for companies in the form of certificate programs, seminars, coaching skills training and retreats.
One comment I have received often is that a by-product has been an improved marriage or life partnership.
When you stop to think about it, it makes sense. I thought I'd list some of the leadership skills and principles that just make sense to "try at home".
- Be Fully Present. When possible, stop whatever else you are doing and offer the other person your full attention - cognitively and emotionally.
- Listen and Ask Questions. The research is in, giving advice to others is rarely effective - asking questions and helping them figure out their best strategy is WAY more effective.
- Be Curious. Re-awakening our curiosity skills lets us ask more powerful questions, gives us a safeguard from judgement-filled assumptions and can help us to stay open to further dialogue.
- Speak Their Language. Whether we are talking DISC or Insights or The Five Love Languages, the principle is the same. Learn how the other person communicates and adapt your communication for better connection.
- Increase Assertiveness. Assertiveness is not aggression. It is the ability to know what you are thinking and feeling and communicate it clearly without harm to others and without minimizing yourself. Sometimes even in our closest relationship we hold back, for many reasons. Sometimes in our closest relationships we don't make the effort to thoughtfully and kindly present our thoughts, especially when they are loaded with emotion. Neither extreme is helpful and both damage intimacy!
- Celebrate and Acknowledge. This will likely look very different at home than at work (likely no certificates, bonuses, "exceeds expectations" categories, or pay increases at home!!!). Notice the little things and comment on them. "I came home tired from work and you had supper ready, thank you so much, that means a lot to me." It doesn't take much but it's so easy to just take the everyday efforts for granted.
- Plan for Skill Development. Healthy, wise companies budget for ongoing skill development and enhancement. Learning how to listen better, handle conflict in productive ways, learn how to bring out the best in those around you - all relevant to our life partnerships and all relevant to proactively doing for our most important relationships.
The obvious cross-over, along with my history as a therapist has me currently developing LUV Life Coaching with programs for in-love couples.
What are you intentional about with your work colleagues that could be beneficial at home?
Posted on Thu, August 13, 2015
by Marilyn Orr filed under